Mac Johnston. Poet. Scholar. Death Knight

Liberty Tax preparation needs to fire their marketing team. I’m not sure “Humiliated Black Man, dressed as Statue of Liberty, waving at traffic” is as effective as they think it is.

(Quick skit on the above’s Job interview)

BOSS : Well you’re not high and it seems that you have a first and last name as well. This makes you somewhat overqualified but, let’s run with it. Are you familiar with Halloween?

PROSPECTIVE: Yea dats dat holiday where we take our pillows out da cases and let  people down by not showing up in costume than white-guilting them into gettin candy anyway?

BOSS: PRECISELY! However, this time you will not be getting any candy. Your reward for dressing or not dressing up will come in the form of minimum wage. Now, second question, how are you at waving your appendages?

PROSPECTIVE: Pretty good, I guess.

BOSS: Excellent. Now, basically what this job requires is that you put this green dress on along with this pointy hat; stand on the corner and wave at people trying to drive their cars. And than, by the grace of God, they will enter this facility and let me figuratively bend them over by doing something for them so menial, a monkey could do in his sleep.

PROSPECTIVE: What I gotta dress up like Big Bird for? Wavin’ at cars and shit?

BOSS: First of all you’re dressed as the Statue of Liberty which stands tall and proud on Ellis island and reminds people to do their taxes. Second, Because it’s scientifically proven to drive tax preparation sales. Did I tell you this job also has benefits? One of them being that, while you cannot use our restrooms you can crap your pants and get away with it carefree because of the full body coverage from the gown.

PROSPECTIVE: Win.