February 2010
1 post
Still Waving
Liberty Tax preparation needs to fire their marketing team. I’m not sure “Humiliated Black Man, dressed as Statue of Liberty, waving at traffic” is as effective as they think it is.
(Quick skit on the above’s Job interview)
BOSS : Well you’re not high and it seems that you have a first and last name as well. This makes you somewhat overqualified but,...
July 2009
1 post
Penis Description
Jessie awkwardly asked me how I would describe my DongQuixote…I could only muster the following, yet perfect apologue….
Warrior Poet.
June 2009
4 posts
Ode to the Guy Shadow Boxing in the Gym.
For gods sake why?
For gods sake who?
Why are you flailing your fists in the air in front of the mirror like a baboon?
You gangly fifty year old mess of a man.
Why must you alienate the rest of us just trying to workout and mind our own business?
This is not a boxing ring nor has it ever been. This is Planet Fitness. Quite possibly the most flamboyantly colored, average joe ridden place on...
A Humanties paper I wrote for Jessie...submitted.
Back in the fifth grade I had a very nasty chemistry teacher named Ms. Von Klempt. We all called the class “Cheminazi” because of how brutish and mean she acted towards her students. It was a running joke among my classmates to see who could let out the biggest fart during her lectures, as our way of ‘sticking it to the man’. The louder and longer the better. It was so nice to break the monotony...
Submitted Biography for History Class at UAlbany.
History II
Biography (much abridged)
Twas a blustery evening in January when I was born. If you want the date on my license it’s the eighteenth but it happened over the course of two days. When it was announced that I had successfully made it all the way out, the village census went and changed the population number on the sign in the town where I lived. I don’t really know that for sure, he may...